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The Pipe Maze

Krushas Idiotic Quotes
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The Funny Things People Say


Duhhh... these are the secret quotes files that I took from K. Rool's files and Mushroom Kingdom Library... is today Tuesday?


K.Rool: Once again, I have done the impossible. Teach Krusha to dance! What do you think, Klump?
Klump: Doododododododododododdooooo!
K.Rool: I wish you wouldn't do that!

K.Rool: Let's see, what do I want to be for ruler of Congo Bongo?
Cranky: It's not your fault Donkey Kong.
Klump did some jumping jacks for celebration...
Klump: Dododododododoododdooddoodoooo!
Cranky: Hahahaha! Looks like you got your wish, K.Rool!

Klumps immitates Donkey's voice and insults Dixie...
Krusha: What about you, Litte Dixie Doodle! You are mine!
Dixie: Huh? What is up with you DK?
DK: What? I didn't say anything!
Krusha: C'mon! Put a lip lock on me Dixie! That chump chimp Diddy will never know!
Dixie: Why you doble crossin' two timin'... wait 'till Diddy hears about this!!!

In this episode, Bluster was captured by Krool and he gets a last request...

K.Rool: If you don't tell me what you apes are up too... you'll have to work in my factory!
(K.Rool lowers platform for Bluster to see how horrible the working conditions are)
Bluster: Looks like hard labour. Extremly hard labour!
K.Rool: Oh don't worry! You'll get that coffee break every thousand years or so!
Bluster: Do I get any last requests?
K.Rool: OK. But it can't be too expensive!
Bluster: Nonono! I simply wish to sing a song!
(Starts singing 100 Banana Bunches on the Wall along with some Kritters and Krusha)

Captain Skurvy: Well me little guppies, let's see ya get out of this one!
Diddy: Let us go, Skurvy!
Captain Scurvy: Oh, I'll let you go!
DK: You will?
Captain Scurvy: Just as soon as I find some shark-infested water.

This part is near the end where genius Krusha returns back to his old self again.

Krusha: I've divised a new plan to let me do the following. One, take over the world, two get rid of those babbling baboons, three get the Coconut.
Klump: And rescue K.Rool from being blown to tiny bits?
Krusha: Hhhhhhhh, and rescue K.Rool from being blown to tiny bits!
(Krusha get hit by a cart)
Klump: Wake up Krusha!
Krusha: Duhhhh... is it Tuesday today?
Klump: You lunkhead!

K.Rool: Turn left Krusha! I'm going to give you a brainstorming session.
Krusha: I am?
K.Rool: Right.
Krusha: Right.
K.Rool: No you lunkhead! I mean...
(Mine cart crashed)

K.Rool: Now I will demonstrate, the fall of your island!
Klump: Notice it's fine contours...
K.Rool: Get into the barrel you idiot! Ready, aim, fire!
(Klump gets fired from the bungy barrel)
Dixie: Uh-oh.
(Dixie slams doors and deflects Klump)
Klump: Ahhhhhhhh!
(K.Rool gets hit by Klump and sends them flying back to his cave talking King K.Rool with it).

K.rool: "Tell them the plan Klump!"
Klump: "A4 will go to the left, and A5 will"
K.rool: "Keep it simple, Klump!"
Klump: "Were going to Cranky's house to steal the crystal coconut! Any questions!?"
(All kritters stand straight with big eyes.)

K. Rool: I will go on national television!
Klump: On the Sing Along with Uncle Swampy show?
K. Rool: No, you lunkhead!

(In this dialouge, Robo Candy Kong takes the coconut into Krool's vault)
K.Rool: Mwahahha! After I take over Congo Bongo, I will go for a nice, long, stroll!
Robo Candy: Nice, long, stroll. (Robo Candy starts walking)
K.Rool: No! Come back!
(Klump, in a mine cart, bashes K.Rool into the vault and locks him there)
Klump: Where's King K.Rool?

Diddy: Stop you newts! As ruler of Congo Bongo I command you to scram!
Klump: Well, well! Look who's here! IT's the half pint ape! Open fire!
(Kritter fires gun, Diddy get burned)
Diddy: yowyowyow!

Diddy: Well, OK! You'll be sorry! I was just trying to give you a break!
Kong Fu: Oh, I'll give Donkey Kong a break. A whole lot of breaks! Not to mention some bumps, lumps and bruises! Because where I come from...
(Lights turn off and Kong Fu starts to whimper)
K.Rool: Klump, stop snnibling!
Klump: Aww... it's not me sir

K.Rool is playing a video game on his computer

Krusha: Only 500 more points to beat you record.
K.Rool: Come on, Come on, Come on!!!
(Klump comes in on the computer erasing the game)
Klump: This is General Klump King.K.Rool sir...looking a little pale there sir!
K.Rool smashes the computer and takes deep breaths...
Klump phones on the cell phone
Klump: Seems we had some sort of interference.

Krool gets locked inside a vault and tries to say the password in order to open it...

K.Rool: Uh, Iggly, Biggly, Smiggly, no-Biggly Diggly Piggly... (Klump rides in on a minecart)
Klump: Hold it right there, you mean old yeti! (Looks around)
Klump:Ooops, hah-hah, looks like I took a wrong turn...
Klump: Retreat!!

DK:Maybe you should put it in a safer place.
Cranky:Dont worry,as long as I have this stick,no one will bother me.
(Then Eddie the mean old yedi barges in)
Eddie the mean old yedi:Me Ediie the mean old yedi.
Diddy:Except someone with a bigger stick!
(Eddie starts breaking everything.)

K. Rool: With my KCCBM, we'll be up to our tails in Coconut Chills before you can say "Blast off"!
(Klump pushes a big red button that launches the KCCBM)
Kritters: HOORAY!!
K. Rool: I wanted to push the big red button!
Klump: But you said "blast off", and I didn't get to say anything!

K. Rool: Behold! The plans for my latest Donkey Kong Doomsday machine! I call it... the KCCBM!
Klump: KCCBM? I think you need to recruit more vowels.

Cranky: Business? You've got no business to go into business! You'll lose your shirt!
DK: That's OK. I don't wear a shirt.
Cranky: Then you'll lose your tie

Candy: Hey, where's DK going?
Bluster: Candy, uh... forget that. You didn't see them. You're hallucinating! You just think DK's going on a treasure hunt... uh, can I rephrase that?
Dixie: Candy! Trea-sure hunt. As in treasure. Huh?
Candy: Treasure? He's going on a treasure hunt?
Bluster: Now Candy. As foreman of the...
Candy: Are you flying this thing or am I learning to fly it without you!?

Diddy: That's no ordinary map. Look! Footprints leading to an "X"!
DK: So who would want to go clear across the island for an "X"?
Funky: Especially when all you can spell with is like, uh, "xylophone"!
DK: Or "exit"!
Funky: Or "ox"!
DK: There's no "X" in "treasure", Diddy.
Diddy: (Stomps on his hat) D'OH, I KNOW THAT! I'm saying this is a treasure map! "X" marks the spot!

Funky: Whoa! Maybe the kids have doom-swooped the island!
Bluster: What will we do?
Funky: Only thing we can do. Chill here and wait for the others to give us the "All Clear" sign.
Bluster: But that could take a long time!
Funky: So, we get to know each other. I'll tell you my middle name if you, like, tell me yours.
Bluster: LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

Diddy (Talking about Cranky's vacation): Ahh, Cranky must be having the time of his life right now.
DK: Maybe, Diddy. (Eats a banana) More like, he's relaxing and hating every minute of it!
Diddy: No one to grouch at?
DK: You guessed it, little buddy.

Bluster: That unimaginative Donkey Kong would be more than happy to trade whatever treasure he finds for a... station wagon to cargo his bananas around.

Bluster: I'm just one sneaky, peeping, two-bit step away from becoming an even richer richest ape on Kongo Bongo Island - and that's rich.

DK: Looks pretty thick down there!
Diddy: And rocky!
DK: Think you can land the plane?
Funky: No sweat, DK! (Pause) No gas!
DK & Diddy: NO GAS!?
Funky (As DK and Diddy scream): Hold on to your stomachs, lucky dudes! I can't turn, I can't back up, but I can surf these air waves all day long!

K. Rool: (Talking about the treasure) Regardless, you can appreciate the time you'll save yourselves by handing it over so I can do away with you and get on as new dictator. Gimme!
Funky: Too late, lizard lips! The babes went crusin' with what you're losin' from the second you made the scene!
(Everyone looks around to see that Candy and Dixie are gone, with the treasure.)
K. Rool: Krusha! The cart! (Krusha gets a mine cart) After them! (Krusha drives the cart off without K. Rool) Not without me, you stupid, thickheaded tadpole!! (He runs after Krusha and crashes into the cart) Oof! (Coughs) Signal your stops!
DK: If that treasure is what K. Rool thinks it is, Diddy, our only hope of saving Candy, Dixie, and Kongo Bongo is that we get it from them before he does. Let's go!
Bluster: Well, I do wish you luck.
Funky: DK said it was time to make like a banana and split, dig?
Bluster: I'm afraid I'm a bit of a klutz when it comes to Doomsday devices, and-- (Funky grabs him) YAA!

K. Rool: (In a mine cart with Krusha) Those clueless chimps may know their way around the island up there, but no one knows the underground like King K. Rool! Left, Krusha! (Krusha turns left and the mine cart crashes) I meant, right!

Cranky: What am I doing here? I could ask you what you're doing here, all of you! But I know - wrecking my vacation, that's what! First bees, then ants, now you and those overstuffed alligators are the icing on the cake!

K. Rool: It's so obvious that the treasure they're looking for is some kind of Doomsday Device capable of destroying an entire island! Do you know what that means?
Krusha: Duh, the apes will have supreme domination over Kongo Bongo Island and probably turn us into matching luggage.
K. Rool: He [i]does[/i] have his moments.

Klump: Seems the apes are performing some search-and-rescue operation in the mountain mines, sir!
K. Rool: What could they possibly be looking for in the mountain mines?
Krusha: Duh, rocks?
K. Rool: Rocks? Of course! LIKE THE KIND IN YOUR HEAD! What's the target, Klump?
Klump: Buried treasure, sir!
K. Rool: Any idea what kind of treasure?
Klump: Rocks?

Cranky: Now zip your lip and listen! I've got something that'll snap Eddie the Mean Old Yeti out of his mean old mood!
DK: Eddie's not the only one who could use some of that.
Cranky: I heard that!

(Cranky is about take off with Funky in the biplane)
Cranky: What am I doing in this contraption? I got an airhead airline pilot and a couple of knuckleheads guarding the Crystal Coconut!
Funky: Chill, Cranky! Sit back, and enjoy the ride, ha ha!
Cranky: Yeah, what am I worried about? If those two stir up any trouble-(The biplane takes off)-I WON'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE IT! WHOA!!!

Cranky: I think I just spotted Eddie!
Funky: I am ready, dude!
(Funky can't hear Cranky exactly because of the biplane's loud engine)
Cranky: Not ready! Eddie!
Funky: Not ready yet? Just say when!
Cranky: Isn't there something you can do so we can communicate!?
(Funky turns off the engine)
Funky: Okay, let's communicate.
Cranky: What'd you do?
Funky: Turned the engine off.
Cranky: Then what's holding us up?
Funky: Like, nothing.

K. Rool: [Krusha is] a natural... disaster, he is!
Klump: Deploy the tranquilizer dart, sir?
K. Rool: No! Kill it!
Klump: Uh, does he get any last words?
K. Rool: The music, you militant mushhead!!

K. Rool: Have you found Donkey Kong yet?
Klump: Almost, sire.
K. Rool: Almost!?! As in, I'm almost ready to barbecue your sorry hide?
Klump: No, almost as in between "not really", and "sorta kinda".

Diddy: This is weird!
DK: Yeah! I didn't know Funky was opening a hair salon.

DK: Do your zombie worst! No interplanetary vistor dude mind vibe can control my mind!
Cranky: No kidding! They'll never be able to find it!

Diddy: Aliens are taking over Kongo Bongo and all anyone's doing about it is getting their hair done!

Skurvy: I can't stands having any more of that monkey stuff on my ship.
Kutlass: Easy for you to say! You just hold the map; you don't have to dig!
Skurvy: What be that, third mate?!

Skurvy: Now what be we doin', lads?
Kutlass: Section D, Paragraph 4, Captain-a-Skurvy, sir!
Green Kroc: Gift-wrap it?

DK: Y'see, I got bumped on the head, and now, um, who am I?
Green Kroc: You're Donkey... (Skurvy punches him in the chest) KROC!
DK: Huh?
Skurvy: Aye! Donkey Kroc! Me own first mate!
Kutlass: But I'm-a-your first-- (Skurvy punches his chest too)
Skurvy: Surely you must remember Mr. Green Kroc and me second mate, Kutlass.

Green Kroc: Why does we bury the treasure, captain?
Skurvy: Why does we bury the treasure? WHY DOES WE BURY THE TREASURE?! Kutlass, tell Mr. Green Kroc here why we be buryin' treasure!
Kutlass: Ahem. According to Section 3, Paragraph 4 of The Pirate-a-Handbook-a, any and all-a-treasure acquired by ill-gotten means shall and will be systematically buried... sir.
Skurvy: So there be your answer, Mr. Green Kroc-smarty boots! Now, not another word.
Green Kroc: But if we just be digging it up again...

Green Kroc: If we dig any deeper, we'll sink the island!
Kutlass: Aye! Are you sure we buried that treasure here, Captain Skurvy, sir?
Skurvy: Aye! X marks the spot! It be buried here, positively! Why, I'd even stake my reputation as the scurviest sea dog on it. I'd--ah, but even so, y'might wants to take a look, eh, over thar.

K. Rool: The only enemies at a wedding, Klump, are the in-laws.

Klump: Shall I requisition an exploding wedding cake, sir? Or booby-trap the bouquets? Or obliterate the hors d'evoures?
K. Rool: You're not exactly a romantic, are you, Klump?
Klump: Nugatory on that, sir.

Klump: Permission to ask why you care about the enemy's forthcoming marriage, your sentimental slobbiness?
K. Rool: Because who's more important than the king?
Krusha: Uh, you are?

K. Rool: They didn't invite me?! That's so unfair! What's wrong with me?! Haven't I always tried to be a good enemy to Donkey Kong??
Klump: Uh, permission to invite you as my date, your party-poopieness?
K. Rool: NO, NO, NO! Now they've insulted me! I wouldn't go to that wedding if they begged me to go!
Klump: Well, I'll save ya a piece of weddin' cake, sir.

K. Rool: Now that I have the Crystal Coconut in my possesion, maybe it's time I thought about settling down with a wife!
Klump: Sorry, sir, but I can't volunteer for that mission! Thank you for askin', though.

Diddy: It's a "Dear John" letter!
DK: Ah, thank you. For a second there I thought this was meant for me.

Diddy: That sounded like a zebra having his stripes removed.

DK: Well?
Klump: Well? (the two are alone) Well done, soldier.
DK: Not too shabby, yourself. Now, if I catch you in these parts again, I'm gonna BANANA-SLAMMA you like you've never been Banana-Slamma'd before.
Klump: In triplicate, varmint! (the two walk away and salute each other)

K. Rool Quotes

  • "No way! You chose the last contest, so I get to choose this one, and I choose the one where Donkey Kong gets beaten to a pulp!"
  • "Klump! Krusha! Back to the mine. By the time we get there I'll have thought of some way that I can blame all of this on you two home-spun idiots!"
  • "Cheater, cheater, banana bread eater!"
  • "Behold! My Doomsday... paper?! Hmm... must be the instructions. 'Keep your paws off my treasure. Signed--' DONKEY KONG?!"
  • "Krusha! The cart! After them!... Not without me, you stupid, thickheaded tadpole!!"
  • "Just give me your Monkey Business field report, you slimy-skinned bottomfeeder!!!!"
  • "Those clueless chimps may know their way around the island up there, but no one knows the underground like King K. Rool! Left, Krusha! (mine cart crashes) I meant, right!"
  • "The only enemies at a wedding, Klump, are the in-laws."
  • "Very well, then. Da-da-da-da-da. There, I danced, I win, now GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!"
  • "They didn't invite me?! That's so unfair! What's wrong with me?! Haven't I always tried to be a good enemy to Donkey Kong??"
  • "NO, NO, NO! Now they've insulted me! I wouldn't go to that wedding if they begged me to go!"
  • "This had better be good, Klump. I was a toe away from getting into the de-scaling tub for a soak!"
  • "It's at times like this I find that I must ask myself again and again: 'Do I really want the Crystal Coconut this badly?'"
  • "WAKEY-WAKEY! I can see I have my work cut out for me..."
  • "'Fatso', is it? I'd choose my last words more carefully if I were you."
  • K. Rool: "I know exactly how to keep Donkey Kong running in circles until the proverbial cows come home. Krusha!" Krusha: (enters behind K. Rool, startling him) "When did the cows leave?" K. Rool: "How many times have I told you not to sneak up behind me like that?!"
  • Super Mario Bros. Super Show Quotes

    Koopa: Watch it soldier! When I want my feet licked, I'll ask for it! I want my feet licked.
    Mario: Luigi, you'll have to swim across the moat and let down the drawbridge.
    Luigi: Me? But, but I can't! I'm, uh, gonna have a baby.
    [makes uncomfortable noises; Mario shoves him forward]
    Luigi: Well, it was worth a try.

    Luigi: Crama's here in Koopalot? I mean, uh, Koopa's here in Cramalot? Sheesh, let's split this place.

    Mario: Koopa, you're the meanest, ugliest lizard that ever slimed its way across Cramalot!
    Koopa: Flattery will get you nowhere!

    Mario: What's green and scaly, and covered with meat sauce?
    Koopa: I don't know. What?
    Mario: A Koopa that's landed in deep spaghetti!

    Koopa: There's only one king of Cramalot! And who is that?
    Troopa: Ahh, can ya give me a hint?
    Koopa: He's sitting right here on this throne!
    Troopa: Well gee, maybe ya better get off him.

    Toad: When I get my hands on that King Koopa, I'll fix his wagon!
    Luigi: Hey, what's the matter with King Koopa's wagon? Is it broken?

    Koopa: At the cheep of six, draw!
    Baby Birdo: Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep.
    [Koopa draws his Piranha Plant.]
    Koopa: Gotcha!
    Mario: That's only five! You cheated!
    Koopa: Like my grandfather Poopa la Koopa always said, "Cheat, beat, and be merry."

    Mario: If Toad doesn't get here soon, I'm gonna eat this matress!

    Sgt. Slaughter: I'm double parked!
    Luigi: Double parked?
    Sgt. Slaughter: Yeah! I parked a tank on top of a Chevy! Boy, was that owner mad! I thought she'd never stop yelling!

    Mario: Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job, is when we're working by the hour!

    Luigi: Mamma mia! We should have rented a camel with air conditioning!

    Luigi: So what's all the magic mumbo-jumbo about that lamp? Now whadda you do, pull a rabbit out of it?!

    Luigi: Look at that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over 100 bucks!

    Mario: Water... water... I'll even settle for some meat sauce!

    Princess: Me, join a harem? Oh, give me a break. Harems are from the stupid olden days.

    Koopa: Fool! Those pinhead plumbers are bound to try to rescue Pincess Toadstool, and I intend to capture them before they do.

    Mario: Don't I get a last request or something? A pepperoni cheesecake? A fetuchine sundae?
    Koopa: Are you kidding? I'm a villain, remember?!

    Koopa: Put me down, you wrench-monkey!

    Koopa: Stop wisecracking, Mushroom, or I'll turn you into soap!

    Koopa: Don't question my orders, you rotten rodent! Just do it!

    Koopa: Don't interrupt me! Not while I'm boasting and gloating!

    Koopa: Happy? Imposter! I never use the H-word.

    Princess: Oh no! Toad, it's you!
    Toad: Who did you expect? Pee-wee Herman?

    Mario: Hey Luigi, can't you get any more speed out of this old tub?
    Luigi: Keep your moustache on, Mario. We'll be on time for the dinner!

    Koopa: Guess who's coming to dinner, Triclydius - the Marios!
    Right Head: Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em!
    Koopa: Don't let 'em see you, snake-breath. I want 'em to walk into my trap.
    Left Head: Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em!
    Koopa: Why do I have to give you an order three times before it sinks in!
    Right Head: I don't know, ask him.
    Left Head: I don't know, ask him.
    Koopa: I can't let you ninnies ruin my plan to get the Marios out of the way.
    Middle Head: Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em!
    Koopa: Get back here, you stupid serpent!

    Mario: This is some place, hey Luigi?
    Luigi: It's some place, but I don't know what place.
    Brutius: This is the place where we capture you!
    Mario: Oh. See, Luigi? This is the place where they—
    Mario/Luigi: CAPTURE US?!

    Brutius: You aren't goin' nowhere, fungus!
    Toad: Dat's what I said, I aren't goin' nowhere.
    Brutius: FUNGUS!
    Toad: Right. Fungus. Heh heh. Sorry, I forgot that part.

    Koopa: It can't be! They defeated my champion!
    Princess: And now you gotta let them go.
    Koopa: That's what you think! Brutius, release the lions!
    Princess: But you promised!
    Koopa: One of the nice things about being evil is, you get to lie a lot!

    Mario: OK, you guys are supposed to be king of the beasts, right?
    Lion 1: You got it, you chubby little chunk of lunch meat!
    Mario: If you're really kings, you'd be having an emperor for dinner, instead of two measly plumbers.
    Lion 1: He's got a point, Harry.

    Luigi: See? We're here ahead of time. We got-a-half an hour till chow.
    Mario: Half an hour?! I could starve by then!

    Mario: Excuse my brother, he gets nervous around guys six times bigger than him!

    Mario: We can fix anything if there's spaghetti involved!

    Brutius: Guard, take Princess Toadstool and this creature...
    Toad: Hey! Watch dat "creature" stuff!
    (Brutius growls at Toad and stomps the ground, causing Toad to flip.)
    Toad: Wo! On second thought, 'creature' does have a nice ring to it.

    Luigi: He's too busy eatin', Mario. He's your kind of horse.

    Mario: Giddyup, chowhound!

    Horse: How about doing another trick and getting me some more oats?
    Mario: Sorry, but I'm out of oats!
    (The horse skids to a halt and throws the Mario Bros. out.)
    Horse: No oats, no work! Sorry, fat boy!

    Luigi: What's he gonna do with that net, Mario?
    Mario: He's not going fishin', that's for sure Luigi!

    Mario: I gotta tell you, Luigi - I'm workin' up one BIG appetite!
    Luigi: Doh, so is he!

    Mario: Wait a macaroni minute! I got an idea! Dance, Luigi!
    Luigi: You lost your noodle?!
    Mario: DANCE! DANCE!

    Lion 1: Hey Koopa, slow down! We're hungry!

    Lion 1: Hey, Luigi! Y'wanna get to work? Break time's over! I'm so starved I could eat a horse... or a plumber.
    Luigi: One extra-big plate of spaghetti, coming right up!

    Koopa: Three heads are better than two!

    Mario: C'mon Luigi, let's see what this guernsey can earnsey!

    Mario: "Come to think of it, he does sleep in all day."
    Luigi: "Well, so do you, unless there's an Inspector Gadget marathon on TV!"

    Luigi: Leapin' lasagna! This room's bigger than the Brooklyn Public Library! Wow!

    Koopa: Fum fee fi fo! I smell the brothers Mario!

    Koopa: Fee fum fi foo! I'm gonna cook some Mario stew!

    Koopa: Fee fi fo fum! I'll lock you up, cuz you're so dumb!

    Koopa: Fum fee fi faddit! You two guys have really had it!

    Mario: I'll be done! A goose that's better than the U.S. mint!

    Mario: Hey, Koopa! I hope your big and tall shop blows up, with you in it!

    Luigi: Do you think that's our [gulp] last meal?
    Queen Rotunda: Silly goon! You don't get a last meal!

    Queen Rotunda: Come to me, my sweet pea! I hear wedding bells in my tower!
    Mario: Those ain't wedding bells in your tower! They're bats in your belfry, lady!

    Toad: Don't give up, Luigi! It ain't over 'til the fat lady gets her weddin' ring!

    Luigi: Hey Mario! You sure you know what you're doing?
    Mario: Sure, I'm doing 60 miles an hour!

    Luigi: We'll smother them in succotash!

    Toad: I can't take it anymore!
    Princess: Being trapped by Koopa?
    Toad: No, this story! It's driving me nut!

    Mario: Now that's what I call a meal!
    Luigi: Well, that's what I call ten meals!

    Toad: This is terrible!
    Princess: Yes, Mario and Luigi really need our help.
    Toad: I meant da snoring - it's driving me bonkers!

    Mario: Hey! Where'd you learn how to ride a bike!?

    Mario: Hey, King Koopa! You can at least say goodbye! Heh, looks like we win the bike race by default.
    Luigi: It's not *my* fault.

    Princess: Guys, you've been tricked! This race was one of Koopa's traps!
    Toad: Yeah, da bill collect after my mushroom hide was just a phony!
    Luigi: You mean I risked my neck for nothing?!
    Mario: You mean I wasted my tomato sauce!??!

    Mouser: Looks like you plumbers are plumb out of luck!

    Mario: You okay, Luigi?
    Luigi: I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach.

    Luigi: I th-think I liked it better when we outnumbered them!

    Koopa: I hate that music! I hate spaghetti! I hate Quirks! I hate those faucet freeeeaaaaks!

    Mario: Now all we need is fuel, supplies, food, and more food!

    Luigi: Mamamia! We've been nailed by the tools in our pockets!

    Koopa: Gut wrenching, isn't it?

    Mario: Not on my melted mozzarella!

    Mario: Let's take a lunch break!
    Princess: Oh, Mario! You just ate three guavas, four breadfruit, and two bananas!
    Mario: If food isn't pasta, it doesn't count!

    Luigi: Ya know, a bridge this rickety's gotta have a warnin' sign that says "Keep Off"!
    Mario: Look around, Luigi! There's no warning sign! Come on!

    Mario: This time Koopa really did somethin' rash!

    Koopa: If I didn't deserve this, I wouldn't give it to me.

    Koopa: The courage beyond compare, the bravery beyond description, I praise this great hero, the superior fiend... me.

    Koopa: You'll pay for this, you pesky plumber!
    Mario: Oh yeah, Koopa? I'm sending you a bill!

    [Luigi opens the door and sees Cher.]
    Cher [singing off-key] I miss you, bay-bay!
    [Luigi shuts the door.]
    Luigi: It's Cher! Wow, that ackward kid with the braids and the braces has really grown, huh?
    [Luigi opens the door again.]
    Luigi: Hi, Cher!
    Cher: You must have me confused with Sonny!

    Luigi: I know you wanna go out, but first, I gotta get you fixed!
    [Mario whimpers.]
    Luigi: Okay, hold on! Bad choice of words!

    Koopa: That mouse-brain! To think of all the gold Coins I wasted on his Driver's Ed classes!

    Troopa: No, you can't call your lawyer or your mother!

    Koopa: I've heard of falling stars, but plummeting plumbers?

    Koopa: I'll get you for this, Mario! Koopa pack, re-attack! [The chopper hits Koopa, knocking him over face first.] Ow! And get that loser Luigi, too!
    [Toad runs over Koopa on his bike.] OUCH!!! AND GET HIM!!! GET THEM!!! GET ALL OF THEM!!!

    Mario/Luigi: No pain, no clog in the drain!

    Mario: Magnifico! You're stronger than Grandma Mia's garlic chip cookies!

    Princess: Next time I need a hero, I know where I'll look!
    Mario: Well, I need a hero right now! A hero sandwich!

    Mario: You must've forgot about the power of positive plumbing!

    Mario: How do you stop a vampire?
    Toad: A stake t'rough da heart!
    Mario: Top sirloin? Filet mignon?

    Koopa: Now my dear, it's time to initiate you into the Loyal Brotherhood of Tomato Sauce Vampires.
    Princess: Brotherhood? But I'm a girl!

    Toad: You've been hitting the sauce again! Well then, have some more!

    Luigi: I'm-a-cold and wet and-a-hungry, Mario! How about some spaghetti?
    Mario: It's-a-my leftovers, Luigi! You already ate yours!
    Luigi: But you had three orders! I only had one!
    Princess: Come on, Mario, sharesies.
    Mario: [hands the carton to Luigi] Oh, all right, but just one bite!

    Luigi: Sorry for making your ball disappear.
    Mario: No problem, Luigi. It was your ball!

    Mario and Luigi go in a bar]
    Luigi: I'll take a milk.
    [All Goombas stare at him]
    Mario: Ummm, in a dirty glass!

    Clump: Why did I ever let you dinghies man my ship?
    Luigi: Yeah, why did'ja?

    Mario: I see we should've stayed in Brooklyn!

    Koopa: Remember, the money goes to my favorite charity: Me!

    Toad [about Mario and Luigi as pirates]: Oh, this will never work!

    Mario: [Singing to Baby Princess] Hush little Princess, don't you cry. Mario's gonna buy you a pizza pie. And if that pizza pie gets ate, Luigi'll buy you a New York steak.

    Toad: This is the end of the trail!
    Mario: Good thing! Cuz this is the end of a trail mix!

    Koopa: Now you terrible tots will do all my chores, while I play!

    Koopa: Stop, or I'll tell on you! I've been hanging around these kids too long!

    Koopa: So, Mr. Smarty-Pants Detective, I'll bet you can't guess what my next caper'll be!
    Herlock: Elementary, my dear Kooparity! You're going to break into the Tower of Victoria and steal a new weapon, the Retro Rooter.
    Koopa: (to his minions) All right, which one of you bonehead blabbermouths spilled the beans!?
    Triclyde: Heh heh, I bet it was Mouser! Heh heh!
    Mouser: Koopa Troopa's ze big mouth!
    Troopa: You're the one, you limburger-eatin' liar!
    (Koopa's minions begin fighting.)
    Herlock: It was elementary, my dear Kooparity. That's just the type of crime a crafty Koopa won't commit.

    Koopa: Soon I'll be the vilest villain to ever victimize Victoria! What do you think of me now, Mr. Detective Defective?
    Herlock: Elementary, my dear Kooparity! You're a cross between a lizard and an inferior species of toad. Your brain is smaller than a peanut. You got the lowest grades in your school and hold the world record for flunking kindergarten the most times. When you were little, the other Koopas nicknamed you "Lizard Lips" and never let you play with them. You were a naughty lily-livered bully boy and wet the bed until you were twelve.
    (Mouser, Tryclyde, and Koopa Troopa laugh hysterically.) Mouser: Gee, he knows you pretty good, boss!
    Koopa: (grabs Mouser) Who asked you, cheese breath!?

    Mario: This is the first time my lunch ever took a bite out of me!

    Koopa: Keep your crown on! You want people to think I'm marrying a nag?

    Koopa: I'm gonna turn those two fat little plumbers into two flat little plumbers!

    Mama: What took ya so long to find a nice girl and settle down anyway?

    Luigi: Gee. Mario gets the brainstorms, and I get the backaches!

    Mama: You ungrateful child! [Mama hits Koopa's head with a drum.] Now I'll have to tell all the relatives that [She hits him again.] stupid Koopums is still a bachelor! Koopums!
    Koopa: Yes, Mama?
    Mama: Go sit in the corner for six days!
    [Koopa falls over, and Mama walks off.]

    Luigi: I don't like high places!
    Mario: It ain't high down here!
    Luigi: You got a point!

    Koopa: Boogie with Koopa, you fungus brats! Boogie right into my double-dealing clutches!

    Koopa: Now all I need to complete my Monster Robot Troopa, is a brain!
    [Mouser enters.]
    Mouser: Dr. Koopenstein, sir?
    Koopa: If only you weren't so stupid, Mouser, I could use yours!

    Agent N: Welcome to the Super Spy Laboratory! I'm Secret Agent N!
    Luigi: I see.
    Agent N: Not C! N!
    Mario: Oh!
    Agent N: Not O! N! Agent O's on holiday!

    Koopa: At last! I've Koopa conquered Fort Hard Knocks! There's more gold here, than in a candy lover's mouth! Let's bag this booty and blow!

    Mario: This is one wedding Koopa's really gonna cry at!

    Toad: It's a net!
    Luigi: Annette Funicello? Where?

    Princess: I always cry at weddings!
    Mario: I always cry at wedding feasts!

    Mario: This is hard for a plumber to watch, Luigi!
    Luigi: I know! Pluggin' up pipes goes against everythin' we stand for!

    Mario:That's pitiful, Luigi! What are we going to do with you?
    Luigi: Zelda of Legend, next the from scenes, some me show to have would you! (Translation: You would have to show me some scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!)

    Robin: This calls for a celebration feast!
    Mario: A feast? And we're invited?
    Robin: Of course! The more, the merrier!
    [Luigi pats Mario's belly]
    Luigi: Better make that "The more for Mario"!

    Mario: When in doubt, flush it out!

    Captain Abadab: "Greeeeeeeat jumpin' jellyfish, I swear. . . None'a you peedle has got no more gumption than a guppy!"
    Koopa: "Who pushed your button, fish-monger?"
    Captain Abadab: "Caaaaaaall me Cap'n, sonny! Cap'n Abadab! I'm'a harpooner, aaaaand ah've got me a schooner, huh."

    Koopa: Kiss Koopa's feet, and I'll gladly get rid of the sea monster for ya!

    Koopa: Let's ram 'em, slam 'em, and ruin their day!

    Mario: Now let's get the gold coins, before O'Koopa comes back!
    Koopa: Too late! His gorgeous self is here!

    Mario: I'm in pasta heaven!

    Mario: I wonder when we get dinner.
    Toad: You mean if we get dinner.
    Mario: Hey guards, what time we gonna eat?

    Murphy: Me old pal, O'Koopa! Me closest buddy!
    [Murphy hugs Koopa's leg.]
    Koopa: Let go of me! You leprechaun leech!

    Dr. T. Garden: You crazy Koopa! You ate all my Super Sushi! Now you'll grow too much!
    Koopa: That's the idea, chopsticks for brains!

    Koopa: I'm going to squash this city flatter than a tofu pancake!!

    Koopa: I don't take lip like that from insects!!

    Koopa: Rampaging Reptile!!

    Mario: It worked Luigi! Koopzilla's chasing us!

    Toad: This is da second-biggest hypodermic needle I've ever seen!
    Luigi: What was the biggest?
    Toad: My last flu shot.

    Koopa: I got ya now, you pint size pasta eaters!

    Luigi: Hey! Yo! Mario! What's that?
    Mario: What's that? It's the Big-time Celebrity Prize Giveaway Sweepstake! Now let me tell you what we're gonna win! The third prize is an all-expense paid trip to Italy with Sophia Loren.
    Luigi: Sophia Loren?
    Mario: Now, the second prize is a tour of Hollywood, California with Annette Funociello!
    Luigi: Annette Funicello?
    Mario: Funicello! That's the same one! The first prize, an evening on the town with Madonna!
    Luigi: Madonna!?
    Mario: Now the grand prize, is milk and cookies with...
    Mario/Luigi: Scott Baio?

    Koopa: Christmas? Bah humkoop!

    Brian: Ok, I admit it. I'm lyin' like a dog!

    Koopa: Leave the cool lines to me, okay?

    Koopa: Watch out plumbers! Here comes Koopa, the party poopa!

    Koopa: Nuthin' like relaxin' in the sun, eh Lakitu?
    Lakitu: I perfer clouds myself, but at least it's snowing and freezing down there! [Lakitu and Koopa laugh]

    Sam Shalam: Watch it, will ya? This is a genuine Persian carpet! Made in Hong Kong.

    Al Koopone: "Cover ya ears, and watch ya rears! I'm goin' Bob-omb bowlin'!"

    Mario: Koopone, you've Kooped your last Koop!

    Toad: "Make like a bird and duck!"

    Mario: "Hold it right there! We're making a citizen's arrest!"
    * Mouser, Koopa Troopa, and Triclyde turn around, holding violin cases.
    Mouser: "Ooooh yeaaaah?"
    * The trio open the cases. . .
    Mouser: "Well eat Snifits, blidge brains!"
    * The cases reveal Snifits who open rapid fire on Mario and crew.

    Toad: "These cement ov'ashoes are hard to walk in. . . Somebody help me take mine off?"

    Princess: El Koopitan got Zero!
    Mario: And we didn't even get a taco!

    Luigi: Bring 'em on! I'm ready for 'em this time! What am I sayin'?

    Mario: I guess Mexican food doesn't agree with El Koopitan!

    Koopa: You call yourself an army, you miserable misfits? WHY AM I CURSED WITH SUCH INCOMPETANTS?!

    Washingtoad: Give us Koopa, or give us death!

    Toad: Land ho, dudes! The island of Koopos is dead ahead!
    Luigi: Aw, Toad! Didja hafta say dead?

    Koopa: Wrong, Princess Toadstooge!

    Koopa: It's those dumber plumbers, the Mario Bros!

    Luigi: I hate bein' cooped up in a Koopa!

    Princess: Fear not, my friends! It's Princess T. to the rescue!

    Toad: I've had smoother rides in a cement mixer!

    Koopa: When you hurt Koopa's nose, you've blown it!

    Kooperman: Okay, scumballs! Stand tall! Shoulders back! Stomachs in! I'm Drain Sergeant Kooperman, and you are the crummiest, most lovingly, shortest would-be plumbers I have ever seen!

    Misaki: One must stay focused and not let mind stray!
    Luigi: Mario's mind was where it always is! On pasta!

    Tawny Tyler: Now, let me get this straight, boys. I'll help you do your commercial, and then you'll help me disconnect that sprinkler system you installed in my house last month?
    Mario: That's right!
    Tawny Tyler: Good! My three story house is now a three story pool!
    Luigi: I guess housecleaning must be a breeze, huh?

    Mario: For super clogs and toilet blogs, don't call your dog or mother!
    Luigi: We're very fast and very cheap...
    Mario/Luigi: Cuz we're the Mario Bros.!

    Koopa: Listen, fungus face! If the Mario Bros. have brains, they won't show up here!
    [Koopa looks through his binoculars and sees the Marios and Misaki approaching.]
    Koopa: Hmm... Just as I thought! The Mario Bros. don't have any brains!

    Koopa: Welcome aboard Air Albatoss! This is your Koopa speaking! This flight is non-stop 'til ya drop!

    Mario: Not Mario. Me Marzan. You crazy people.

    Koopa: Know what I'm gonna do with you buttinskies?
    Mario: Say you're sorry and let us go?

    Koopa: We're gonna celebrate the capture of those faucet freaks by letting me win a baseball game.

    Luigi: Two hundred years?! What're we gonna do?!
    Mario: Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live two hundred years, Luigi!

    Princess: You should be ashamed of yourself! Breaking in here and wearing my grandmother's clothes!
    [Koopa admires himself in the mirror]
    Koopa: Actually, I think the color looks great on me!

    Koopa: I want that ranger in danger!

    Koopa: This better be a bad dream, plumber, 'cause if it's not, you're in deep fettuccine!

    Mario: What is this stuff?
    Gramps: Well, uh, they call it Koopa Surprise, because it looks and smells like Koopa!

    Koopa: What the Koop are you talkin' about?

    Koopa: Ah, just as I planned! The Mario Bros. have arrived! Now I'll flatten them worse than I'll flatten Flatbush!

    Koopa: You Mario Bros. ruined my evil schemes, so I'm gonna ruin the burg that you love best!

    Mario: Brooklyn, New York! U.S. of America! We made it, Luigi!

    Mario: "Hit the breeeeeaks!!"
    Luigi: "What breaks?!"
    Mario: "Put it in reverse gear!!"
    Luigi: "There isn't any! You got any more good suggestions??"
    Mario: "Yeah. . . Bail oooout!!"

    Koopa: We're gonna follow those faucet-fixing fools, and when they find the Lost Mushroom, we're gonna take it away from them!
    Mouser: Geez boss, that's stealing!
    Troopa: Yeah!
    Triclyde: T-t-t-that's right!
    Koopa: Of course it's stealing, you dim-witted dumbcots! We're bad guys! We're supposed to steal!
    [He jumps up and hits them with his pole.]
    Mouser: Oh yeah...
    Triclyde: That's right!
    Troopa: I forgot!
    Koopa: Boy, good henchmen are hard to find!

    Mario: Good news, Luigi! I think we found Koopa!
    Luigi: *sarcastically* How lucky can we get. . .?

    Mario: I just love playing Koopa in the middle!

    Luigi: If th' boomerangs don't get us, the Birdoroo eggs will!
    Mario: Nah. . . We'll get away from both of them. It's those rapids we have to worry about!

    Luigi: Those rotten egg Birdoroos are gonna sink us!

    Koopa: I love Down Under Land! It's where the Mario Bros. went down, and under!

    Mario: We're gonna crash, Luigi!
    Luigi: I knew we should've built this raft with brakes!

    Princess: Just say the magic words, Luigi! May the pasta be with you!

    Koopa: Today, the Mushroom planet! Tomorrow, the Milky Way! Next week, the universe will be: The Koopaverse!

    Princess: But we can't just give up, Obi-Wan Toadi!

    Koopa: Stormtroopa pack, attack!

    Koopa Go to Warp 10, Mouser!

    Koopa:Press this button and...
    (Koopa ejects from his robo suit.)

    Koopa: I'm gonna destroy you miserable little meddlers! (fiddles around on his button panel) Drat! Where is that "destroy-you-miserable-little-meddlers" button?!

    Cyndi Lauper: According to officials in Moscow, Comrade Louski is not there. And please send some more 8-Track tapes!
    Mario: Hey, I'll send 'em my Jim Nabors tapes!

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