: Luigi, you'll have to swim across the moat and let down the drawbridge. Luigi
But, but I can't! I'm, uh, gonna have a baby.
[makes uncomfortable noises; Mario shoves him forward] Luigi
Well, it was worth a try.
Luigi: Crama's here in Koopalot? I mean, uh, Koopa's here in Cramalot? Sheesh, let's split this place.
Mario: Koopa, you're the meanest, ugliest lizard that ever slimed its way across Cramalot!
will get you nowhere!
Mario: What's green and scaly, and covered with meat sauce?
Koopa: I don't know. What?
A Koopa that's landed in deep spaghetti!
Koopa: There's only one king of Cramalot! And who is that?
Troopa: Ahh, can ya give me a hint?
He's sitting right here on this throne!
Troopa: Well gee, maybe ya better get off him.
Toad: When I get my hands on that King Koopa, I'll fix his wagon!
Luigi: Hey, what's the matter
with King Koopa's wagon? Is it broken?
Koopa: At the cheep of six, draw!
Baby Birdo: Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep. Cheep.
[Koopa draws his
Mario: That's only five! You cheated!
Koopa: Like my grandfather
Poopa la Koopa always said, "Cheat, beat, and be merry."
Mario: If Toad doesn't get here soon, I'm gonna eat this matress!
Sgt. Slaughter: I'm double parked!
Luigi: Double parked?
Sgt. Slaughter: Yeah! I parked a
tank on top of a Chevy! Boy, was that owner mad! I thought she'd never stop yelling!
Mario: Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job, is when we're working by the hour!
Luigi: Mamma mia! We should have rented a camel with air conditioning!
Luigi: So what's all the magic mumbo-jumbo about that lamp? Now whadda you do, pull a rabbit out of it?!
Luigi: Look at that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over 100 bucks!
Mario: Water... water... I'll even settle for some meat sauce!
Princess: Me, join a harem? Oh, give me a break. Harems are from the stupid olden days.
Sultan: I LIKE THE STUPID
Koopa: Fool! Those pinhead plumbers are bound to try to rescue Pincess Toadstool, and I intend to capture
them before they do.
Mario: Don't I get a last request or something? A pepperoni cheesecake? A fetuchine sundae?
you kidding? I'm a villain, remember?!
Koopa: Put me down, you wrench-monkey!
Koopa: Stop wisecracking, Mushroom, or I'll turn you into soap!
Koopa: Don't question my orders, you rotten rodent! Just do it!
Koopa: Don't interrupt me! Not while I'm boasting and gloating!
Koopa: Happy? Imposter! I never use the H-word.
Princess: Oh no! Toad, it's you!
Toad: Who did you expect? Pee-wee Herman?
Mario: Hey Luigi, can't you get any more speed out of this old tub?
Luigi: Keep your moustache
on, Mario. We'll be on time for the dinner!
Koopa: Guess who's coming to dinner, Triclydius - the Marios!
Right Head: Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush
Koopa: Don't let 'em see you, snake-breath. I want 'em to walk into my trap.
Left Head: Mash 'em!
Stump 'em! Crush 'em!
Koopa: Why do I have to give you an order three times before it sinks in!
I don't know, ask him.
Left Head: I don't know, ask him.
Koopa: I can't let you ninnies ruin my plan
to get the Marios out of the way.
Middle Head: Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em!
Koopa: Get back here,
you stupid serpent!
Mario: This is some place, hey Luigi?
Luigi: It's some place, but I don't know what place.
This is the place where we capture you!
Mario: Oh. See, Luigi? This is the place where they—
Brutius: You aren't goin' nowhere, fungus!
Toad: Dat's what I said, I aren't goin' nowhere.
Toad: Right. Fungus. Heh heh. Sorry, I forgot that part.
Koopa: It can't be! They defeated my champion!
Princess: And now you gotta let them go.
That's what you think! Brutius, release the lions!
Princess: But you promised!
Koopa: One of the nice
things about being evil is, you get to lie a lot!
Mario: OK, you guys are supposed to be king of the beasts, right?
Lion 1: You got it, you chubby little
chunk of lunch meat!
Mario: If you're really kings, you'd be having an emperor for dinner, instead of two measly
Lion 1: He's got a point, Harry.
Luigi: See? We're here ahead of time. We got-a-half an hour till chow.
Mario: Half an hour?! I could
starve by then!
Mario: Excuse my brother, he gets nervous around guys six times bigger than him!
Mario: We can fix anything if there's spaghetti involved!
Brutius: Guard, take Princess Toadstool and this creature...
Toad: Hey! Watch dat "creature" stuff!
growls at Toad and stomps the ground, causing Toad to flip.)
Toad: Wo! On second thought, 'creature' does have
a nice ring to it.
Luigi: He's too busy eatin', Mario. He's your kind of horse.
Mario: Giddyup, chowhound!
Horse: How about doing another trick and getting me some more oats?
Mario: Sorry, but I'm out of oats!
(The horse skids to a halt and throws the Mario Bros. out.)
Horse: No oats, no work! Sorry, fat boy!
Luigi: What's he gonna do with that net, Mario?
Mario: He's not going fishin', that's for sure Luigi!
Mario: I gotta tell you, Luigi - I'm workin' up one BIG appetite!
Luigi: Doh, so is he!
Mario: Wait a macaroni minute! I got an idea! Dance, Luigi!
Luigi: You lost your noodle?!
Lion 1: Hey Koopa, slow down! We're hungry!
Lion 1: Hey, Luigi! Y'wanna get to work? Break time's over! I'm so starved I could eat a horse... or a plumber.
Luigi: One extra-big plate of spaghetti, coming right up!
Koopa: Three heads are better than two!
Mario: C'mon Luigi, let's see what this guernsey can earnsey!
Mario: "Come to think of it, he does sleep in all day."
Luigi: "Well, so do you, unless there's an Inspector
Gadget marathon on TV!"
Luigi: Leapin' lasagna! This room's bigger than the Brooklyn Public Library! Wow!
Koopa: Fum fee fi fo! I smell the brothers Mario!
Koopa: Fee fum fi foo! I'm gonna cook some Mario stew!
Koopa: Fee fi fo fum! I'll lock you up, cuz you're so dumb!
Koopa: Fum fee fi faddit! You two guys have really had it!
Mario: I'll be done! A goose that's better than the U.S. mint!
Mario: Hey, Koopa! I hope your big and tall shop blows up, with you in it!
Luigi: Do you think that's our [gulp] last meal?
Queen Rotunda: Silly goon! You don't get a last meal!
Queen Rotunda: Come to me, my sweet pea! I hear wedding bells in my tower!
Mario: Those ain't wedding
bells in your tower! They're bats in your belfry, lady!
Toad: Don't give up, Luigi! It ain't over 'til the fat lady gets her weddin' ring!
Luigi: Hey Mario! You sure you know what you're doing?
Mario: Sure, I'm doing 60 miles an hour!
Luigi: We'll smother them in succotash!
Toad: I can't take it anymore!
Princess: Being trapped by Koopa?
Toad: No, this story! It's
driving me nut!
Mario: Now that's what I call a meal!
Luigi: Well, that's what I call ten meals!
Toad: This is terrible!
Princess: Yes, Mario and Luigi really need our help.
Toad: I meant
da snoring - it's driving me bonkers!
Mario: Hey! Where'd you learn how to ride a bike!?
Mario: Hey, King Koopa! You can at least say goodbye! Heh, looks like we win the bike race by default.
It's not *my* fault.
Princess: Guys, you've been tricked! This race was one of Koopa's traps!
Toad: Yeah, da bill collect
after my mushroom hide was just a phony!
Luigi: You mean I risked my neck for nothing?!
Mario: You mean
I wasted my tomato sauce!??!
Mouser: Looks like you plumbers are plumb out of luck!
Mario: You okay, Luigi?
Luigi: I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach.
Luigi: I th-think I liked it better when we outnumbered them!
Koopa: I hate that music! I hate spaghetti! I hate Quirks! I hate those faucet freeeeaaaaks!
Mario: Now all we need is fuel, supplies, food, and more food!
Luigi: Mamamia! We've been nailed by the tools in our pockets!
Koopa: Gut wrenching, isn't it?
Mario: Not on my melted mozzarella!
Mario: Let's take a lunch break!
Princess: Oh, Mario! You just ate three guavas, four breadfruit,
and two bananas!
Mario: If food isn't pasta, it doesn't count!
Luigi: Ya know, a bridge this rickety's gotta have a warnin' sign that says "Keep Off"!
Mario: Look around,
Luigi! There's no warning sign! Come on!
Mario: This time Koopa really did somethin' rash!
Koopa: If I didn't deserve this, I wouldn't give it to me.
Koopa: The courage beyond compare, the bravery beyond description, I praise this great hero, the superior fiend...
Koopa: You'll pay for this, you pesky plumber!
Mario: Oh yeah, Koopa? I'm sending you a bill!
[Luigi opens the door and sees Cher.]
Cher [singing off-key] I miss you, bay-bay!
[Luigi shuts the door.]
Luigi: It's Cher! Wow, that ackward kid with the braids and the braces has really grown, huh?
the door again.]
Luigi: Hi, Cher!
Cher: You must have me confused with Sonny!
Luigi: I know you wanna go out, but first, I gotta get you fixed!
hold on! Bad choice of words!
Koopa: That mouse-brain! To think of all the gold Coins I wasted on his Driver's Ed classes!
Troopa: No, you can't call your lawyer or your mother!
Koopa: I've heard of falling stars, but plummeting plumbers?
Koopa: I'll get you for this, Mario! Koopa pack, re-attack! [The chopper hits Koopa, knocking him over face first.]
Ow! And get that loser Luigi, too!
[Toad runs over Koopa on his bike.] OUCH!!! AND GET HIM!!! GET THEM!!! GET ALL OF THEM!!!
Mario/Luigi: No pain, no clog in the drain!
Mario: Magnifico! You're stronger than Grandma Mia's garlic chip cookies!
Princess: Next time I need a hero, I know where I'll look!
Mario: Well, I need a hero right now! A hero sandwich!
Mario: You must've forgot about the power of positive plumbing!
Mario: How do you stop a vampire?
Toad: A stake t'rough da heart!
Mario: Top sirloin? Filet
Koopa: Now my dear, it's time to initiate you into the Loyal Brotherhood of Tomato Sauce Vampires.
Brotherhood? But I'm a girl!
Toad: You've been hitting the sauce again! Well then, have some more!
Luigi: I'm-a-cold and wet and-a-hungry, Mario! How about some spaghetti?
Mario: It's-a-my leftovers,
Luigi! You already ate yours!
Luigi: But you had three orders! I only had one!
Princess: Come on, Mario,
Mario: [hands the carton to Luigi] Oh, all right, but just one bite!
Luigi: Sorry for making your ball disappear.
Mario: No problem, Luigi. It was your ball!
Mario and Luigi go in a bar]
Luigi: I'll take a milk.
[All Goombas stare at him]
in a dirty glass!
Clump: Why did I ever let you dinghies man my ship?
Luigi: Yeah, why did'ja?
Mario: I see we should've stayed in Brooklyn!
Koopa: Remember, the money goes to my favorite charity: Me!
Toad [about Mario and Luigi as pirates]: Oh, this will never work!
Mario: [Singing to Baby Princess] Hush little Princess, don't you cry. Mario's gonna buy you a pizza pie.
And if that pizza pie gets ate, Luigi'll buy you a New York steak.
Toad: This is the end of the trail!
Mario: Good thing! Cuz this is the end of a trail mix!
Koopa: Now you terrible tots will do all my chores, while I play!
Koopa: Stop, or I'll tell on you! I've been hanging around these kids too long!
Koopa: So, Mr. Smarty-Pants Detective, I'll bet you can't guess what my next caper'll be!
Elementary, my dear Kooparity! You're going to break into the Tower of Victoria and steal a new weapon, the Retro Rooter.
Koopa: (to his minions) All right, which one of you bonehead blabbermouths spilled the beans!?
Heh heh, I bet it was Mouser! Heh heh!
Mouser: Koopa Troopa's ze big mouth!
Troopa: You're the one,
you limburger-eatin' liar!
(Koopa's minions begin fighting.)
Herlock: It was elementary, my dear Kooparity.
That's just the type of crime a crafty Koopa won't commit.
Koopa: Soon I'll be the vilest villain to ever victimize Victoria! What do you think of me now, Mr. Detective Defective?
Herlock: Elementary, my dear Kooparity! You're a cross between a lizard and an inferior species of toad. Your brain
is smaller than a peanut. You got the lowest grades in your school and hold the world record for flunking kindergarten the
most times. When you were little, the other Koopas nicknamed you "Lizard Lips" and never let you play with them. You were
a naughty lily-livered bully boy and wet the bed until you were twelve.
(Mouser, Tryclyde, and Koopa Troopa laugh hysterically.)
Mouser: Gee, he knows you pretty good, boss!
Koopa: (grabs Mouser) Who asked you, cheese breath!?
Mario: This is the first time my lunch ever took a bite out of me!
Koopa: Keep your crown on! You want people to think I'm marrying a nag?
Koopa: I'm gonna turn those two fat little plumbers into two flat little plumbers!
Mama: What took ya so long to find a nice girl and settle down anyway?
Luigi: Gee. Mario gets the brainstorms, and I get the backaches!
Mama: You ungrateful child! [Mama hits Koopa's head with a drum.] Now I'll have to tell all the relatives that [She
hits him again.] stupid Koopums is still a bachelor! Koopums!
Koopa: Yes, Mama?
Mama: Go sit in the
corner for six days!
[Koopa falls over, and Mama walks off.]
Luigi: I don't like high places!
Mario: It ain't high down here!
Luigi: You got
Koopa: Boogie with Koopa, you fungus brats! Boogie right into my double-dealing clutches!
Koopa: Now all I need to complete my Monster Robot Troopa, is a brain!
Dr. Koopenstein, sir?
Koopa: If only you weren't so stupid, Mouser, I could use yours!
Agent N: Welcome to the Super Spy Laboratory! I'm Secret Agent N!
Luigi: I see.
N: Not C! N!
Agent N: Not O! N! Agent O's on holiday!
Koopa: At last! I've Koopa conquered Fort Hard Knocks! There's more gold here, than in a candy lover's mouth! Let's
bag this booty and blow!
Mario: This is one wedding Koopa's really gonna cry at!
Toad: It's a net!
Luigi: Annette Funicello? Where?
Princess: I always cry at weddings!
Mario: I always cry at wedding feasts!
Mario: This is hard for a plumber to watch, Luigi!
Luigi: I know! Pluggin' up pipes goes against
everythin' we stand for!
Mario:That's pitiful, Luigi! What are we going to do with you?
Luigi: Zelda of Legend, next the from
scenes, some me show to have would you! (Translation: You would have to show me some scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!)
Robin: This calls for a celebration feast!
Mario: A feast? And we're invited?
Of course! The more, the merrier!
[Luigi pats Mario's belly]
Luigi: Better make that "The more for Mario"!
Mario: When in doubt, flush it out!
Captain Abadab: "Greeeeeeeat jumpin' jellyfish, I swear. . . None'a you peedle has got no
more gumption than a guppy!"
Koopa: "Who pushed your button, fish-monger?"
"Caaaaaaall me Cap'n, sonny! Cap'n Abadab! I'm'a harpooner, aaaaand ah've got me a schooner,
Koopa: Kiss Koopa's feet, and I'll gladly get rid of the sea monster for ya!
Koopa: Let's ram 'em, slam 'em, and ruin their day!
Mario: Now let's get the gold coins, before O'Koopa comes back!
Koopa: Too late! His gorgeous
self is here!
Mario: I'm in pasta heaven!
Mario: I wonder when we get dinner.
Toad: You mean if we get dinner.
Mario: Hey guards,
what time we gonna eat?
Murphy: Me old pal, O'Koopa! Me closest buddy!
[Murphy hugs Koopa's leg.]
Koopa: Let go of me! You
Dr. T. Garden: You crazy Koopa! You ate all my Super Sushi! Now you'll grow too much!
That's the idea, chopsticks for brains!
Koopa: I'm going to squash this city flatter than a tofu pancake!!
Koopa: I don't take lip like that from insects!!
Koopa: Rampaging Reptile!!
Mario: It worked Luigi! Koopzilla's chasing us!
Toad: This is da second-biggest hypodermic needle I've ever seen!
Luigi: What was the biggest?
My last flu shot.
Koopa: I got ya now, you pint size pasta eaters!
Luigi: Hey! Yo! Mario! What's that?
Mario: What's that? It's the Big-time Celebrity Prize Giveaway Sweepstake!
Now let me tell you what we're gonna win! The third prize is an all-expense paid trip to Italy with Sophia Loren.
Mario: Now, the second prize is a tour of Hollywood, California with Annette Funociello!
Mario: Funicello! That's the same one! The first prize, an evening on the town with Madonna!
Mario: Now the grand prize, is milk and cookies with...
Koopa: Christmas? Bah humkoop!
Brian: Ok, I admit it. I'm lyin' like a dog!
Koopa: Leave the cool lines to me, okay?
Koopa: Watch out plumbers! Here comes Koopa, the party poopa!
Koopa: Nuthin' like relaxin' in the sun, eh Lakitu?
Lakitu: I perfer clouds myself, but at least it's
snowing and freezing down there! [Lakitu and Koopa laugh]
Sam Shalam: Watch it, will ya? This is a genuine Persian carpet! Made in Hong Kong.
Al Koopone: "Cover ya ears, and watch ya rears! I'm goin' Bob-omb bowlin'!"
Mario: Koopone, you've Kooped your last Koop!
Toad: "Make like a bird and duck!"
Mario: "Hold it right there! We're making a citizen's arrest!"
* Mouser, Koopa Troopa, and Triclyde turn around,
holding violin cases.
Mouser: "Ooooh yeaaaah?"
* The trio open the cases. . .
eat Snifits, blidge brains!"
* The cases reveal Snifits who open rapid fire on Mario and crew.
Toad: "These cement ov'ashoes are hard to walk in. . . Somebody help me take mine off?"
Princess: El Koopitan got Zero!
Mario: And we didn't even get a taco!
Luigi: Bring 'em on! I'm ready for 'em this time! What am I sayin'?
Mario: I guess Mexican food doesn't agree with El Koopitan!
Koopa: You call yourself an army, you miserable misfits? WHY AM I CURSED WITH SUCH INCOMPETANTS?!
Washingtoad: Give us Koopa, or give us death!
Toad: Land ho, dudes! The island of Koopos is dead ahead!
Luigi: Aw, Toad! Didja hafta say
Koopa: Wrong, Princess Toadstooge!
Koopa: It's those dumber plumbers, the Mario Bros!
Luigi: I hate bein' cooped up in a Koopa!
Princess: Fear not, my friends! It's Princess T. to the rescue!
Toad: I've had smoother rides in a cement mixer!
Koopa: When you hurt Koopa's nose, you've blown it!
Kooperman: Okay, scumballs! Stand tall! Shoulders back! Stomachs in! I'm Drain Sergeant Kooperman, and you are the
crummiest, most lovingly, shortest would-be plumbers I have ever seen!
Misaki: One must stay focused and not let mind stray!
Luigi: Mario's mind was where it always
is! On pasta!
Tawny Tyler: Now, let me get this straight, boys. I'll help you do your commercial, and then you'll help me disconnect
that sprinkler system you installed in my house last month?
Mario: That's right!
Tawny Tyler: Good!
My three story house is now a three story pool!
Luigi: I guess housecleaning must be a breeze, huh?
Mario: For super clogs and toilet blogs, don't call your dog or mother!
Luigi: We're very fast and very
Mario/Luigi: Cuz we're the Mario Bros.!
Koopa: Listen, fungus face! If the Mario Bros. have brains, they won't show up here!
[Koopa looks through his
binoculars and sees the Marios and Misaki approaching.]
Koopa: Hmm... Just as I thought! The Mario Bros. don't
have any brains!
Koopa: Welcome aboard Air Albatoss! This is your Koopa speaking! This flight is non-stop 'til ya drop!
Mario: Not Mario. Me Marzan. You crazy people.
Koopa: Know what I'm gonna do with you buttinskies?
Mario: Say you're sorry and let us go?
Koopa: We're gonna celebrate the capture of those faucet freaks by letting me win a baseball game.
Luigi: Two hundred years?! What're we gonna do?!
Mario: Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live
two hundred years, Luigi!
Princess: You should be ashamed of yourself! Breaking in here and wearing my grandmother's clothes!
admires himself in the mirror]
Koopa: Actually, I think the color looks great on me!
Koopa: I want that ranger in danger!
Koopa: This better be a bad dream, plumber, 'cause if it's not, you're in deep fettuccine!
Mario: What is this stuff?
Gramps: Well, uh, they call it Koopa Surprise, because it looks and smells
Koopa: What the Koop are you talkin' about?
Koopa: Ah, just as I planned! The Mario Bros. have arrived! Now I'll flatten them worse than I'll flatten Flatbush!
Koopa: You Mario Bros. ruined my evil schemes, so I'm gonna ruin the burg that you love best!
Mario: Brooklyn, New York! U.S. of America! We made it, Luigi!
Mario: "Hit the breeeeeaks!!"
Luigi: "What breaks?!"
Mario: "Put it in reverse
Luigi: "There isn't any! You got any more good suggestions??"
. . Bail oooout!!"
Koopa: We're gonna follow those faucet-fixing fools, and when they find the Lost Mushroom, we're gonna
take it away from them!
Mouser: Geez boss, that's stealing!
Koopa: Of course it's stealing, you dim-witted dumbcots! We're bad guys! We're supposed to steal!
jumps up and hits them with his pole.]
Mouser: Oh yeah...
Triclyde: That's right!
Koopa: Boy, good henchmen are hard to find!
Mario: Good news, Luigi! I think we found Koopa!
Luigi: *sarcastically* How lucky can
we get. . .?
Mario: I just love playing Koopa in the middle!
Luigi: If th' boomerangs don't get us, the Birdoroo eggs will!
Mario: Nah. . . We'll get away
from both of them. It's those rapids we have to worry about!
Luigi: Those rotten egg Birdoroos are gonna sink us!
Koopa: I love Down Under Land! It's where the Mario Bros. went down, and under!
Mario: We're gonna crash, Luigi!
Luigi: I knew we should've built this raft with brakes!
Princess: Just say the magic words, Luigi! May the pasta be with you!
Koopa: Today, the Mushroom planet! Tomorrow, the Milky Way! Next week, the universe will be: The Koopaverse!
Princess: But we can't just give up, Obi-Wan Toadi!
Koopa: Stormtroopa pack, attack!
Koopa Go to Warp 10, Mouser!
Koopa:Press this button and...
(Koopa ejects from his robo suit.)
Koopa: I'm gonna destroy you miserable little meddlers! (fiddles around on his button panel) Drat! Where is that
Cyndi Lauper: According to officials in Moscow, Comrade Louski is not there. And please send some more 8-Track tapes!
Mario: Hey, I'll send 'em my Jim Nabors tapes!